You Are What you Consume?

So the other day I felt nature’s calling – it happens to all of us. What doesn’t quite happen to all of us is the modern preamble of finding just the right YouTube video to pinch one off to. Then it hit me – I feel like I need to be more conscious of the fact that my attention is being monetized and taken advantage of by these malevolent tech companies whose devices to which I feel ensnared. This is my blog, I can open a post by talking about poop if I want. My rules!

It’s a shame though because when I get caught in this realization I can feel the two halves of my brain trying to gaslight each other.

“Dude, no. You do not need to worry about how many sports and politics podcasts you listen to a day. That’s just what you’re into, and you’re lucky that you live in a time that you can access an infinite amount of media perfectly tailored to your interests whenever you want.”

“But I can’t even put on my shoes without finding the perfect morning routine video to have on in the background.”

“Man, you are so informed. You know more about the specifics of SEC spring football and all the ways the dems screwed up in 2024 than probably any guy in West Huntsville.”

“Yeah… the most informed and perpetually anxious.”

These are the two parts of my brain fighting with one another by the way.

So, I get to wondering which part of my brain to listen to.

It would certainly be more chill to just not worry about it and just vibe at all times. Unfortunately, I am not wired this way. Then I remember something I heard on TikTok on one of my many content benders: your discipline is really a form of self-care.

Big Questions!

Now I’m back to thinking, are we just what we consume?

Or is what we consume a reflection of who we want to be?

Do we just consume what the lizard part of our brain has gotten used to being fed through pattern recognition within the endless dopamine tap that is modern, algorithmized social media? If that’s the case, what does this say about free will?

How often have you found yourself reaching for your phone when you’re on an elevator or waiting for coffee with no real agenda of looking for one particular app? Have you ever changed the layout of your phone screen, and you find yourself clicking on an app you forgot existed because it’s where Instagram used to be?

I can keep going with these rhetorical questions all day. You’re basically reading a transcript of one of my many minor existential crises. These happen either bi-weekly or bi-daily, depending on how often I remember to eat breakfast. What was on the breaky menu this morning, you ask? Well a full French press and six podcasts of course!

This is when I’m reminded of something NYU professor Scott Galloway says a lot, (paraphrasing here) and it’s that we’ve been conned into believing that you can have a reasonable facsimile of a life through the lens of your phone. Why get a job when you can get rich off of Coinbase or Robinhood? Why go out and make friends when you’re in the premium tier of Mrbeast’s Discord server?

Who do you wanna be?

From time to time I want to be one of those digital vigilantes that metaphorically, or literally, throws their smart phone off a bridge, but damnit, I’m weak. And I can come up with a million reasons for why that would be career suicide, and why I’d lose all knowledge of current events, and why I actually need to be informed about dank brain-rot memes. You know, for art stuff. I mean, “Fluent Chinese,” exhibit A.

And let’s be real, there is some truth to all of that. Call it coping with how my brain chemistry has been permanently altered by algorithmic echo-chambers, but there's some undeniable good that has come from the advent of social media. Think of all the music you’d never been exposed to without the incredible Spotify and TikTok algorithms. Think of how many careers you could start with the help of YouTube University. And do we really want to live in a world without the Rizzler and the Costco Guys?

So, tech abstinence is out for me. The answer was bound to be more grey than black and white. Curse you nuance! Maybe we are what we consume. Maybe it’s a reflection of who we wanted to be at one point, and we’ve all got Stockholm syndrome and our lizard brains the capturers. I know I’ve posed far more questions than conclusions, but one I feel pretty confident in is we should probably all read a bit more.

Another thing’s for sure, it probably is that damn phone. And now that I have gone and publicly displayed my tech concerns for my own well being, like a total prick, I feel some responsibility to go and do something about it. I think a good place to start is just to ask myself why I’m reaching for my phone in any given situation. Am I escaping eye-contact with a neighbor on the elevator? Am I that afraid of boredom? When’s the last time you’ve truly been bored?

The answer is in your action

I think some reasonable guardrails to curb my tech addiction would not be a bad thing either. This is something I've been a total phony about in the past. Anyone else put time limits on their apps just to set a new PR everyday for how many times you can press “remind me in 15 minutes” every time the hourglass appears? Just me? Yikes.

Maybe my new fad is no podcasts before noon, or just one podcast a day. Okay, yeah one podcast a day might be a little ambitious at first.

Maybe every couple months a content (hate that word) audit is needed. I think there’s some truth in the thought of our media diet being a reflection of who we want to be, but this is probably only true when you first adopt a new food group. I mean I only started being an avid listener of Golloway’s when I wanted to become more financially literate.

Yet, I only started listening to Auburn sports podcasts religiously when I wanted to be in the loop for who our new coach was going to be after we fired Malzahn. And all that got me was knowing the specifics of why Auburn is a uniquely disappointing sports program.

Often I’ll find myself putting on a video or podcast to have on in the background and find myself absorbing nothing while my blood pressure increases, and all the sudden the dirty dishes are in the cupboard. Then I’ll take a second and ask myself, do I really give a shit about cornerback depth or if Mayor Pete or AOC is the answer in 2028? Then sometimes I’ll turn it off, and the silence sounds really good.

I don’t want to live in the past or be a Luddite. But I don’t want to have a podcast compulsion either (killer band name, dibs). I do think asking why is a good practice in any domain, and setting intentions are a good thing to do.

So, I’m going to try to let the two halves of my brain to stop fighting and try to get them to work together to make sure this addiction either goes away or at least lets me become the version of myself who I want to be right now.

James

4/25/25

P.S. I’ll be taking the next two weeks off of the blog because I’m getting married!